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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Me ...

I am not against marriage, if you think so. From my posts here, I just want people not to be easily carried away with fairy tales about marriage (e.g: after getting married, then Cinderella and the Prince lived happily together ever after). I just want to make my students, people around me, and others to be more critical to see the reality that to "live happily married ever after" is not as easy to turn our palm outside down. It needs big struggle, deep commitment, etc.

However, I don't like this marriage-oriented society, coz it makes many people--women especially--become not confident to live single, coz many of them don't feel secure to be besieged with questions, such as "When will you get married?" and as the result many of them do ridiculous things, like in one post I took from The Jakarta Post some weeks ago, or just like the case of Mayangsari (read => a woman steals another woman's husband). I'd prefer to spread an idea that to live single is happy too, rather than hurting other women's heart by stealing their husbands, rather than marrying an umployed man and then the woman becomes "money maker", etc.

About polygamy, well, as long as no one feel oppressed, everybody is happy, just go ahead. One thing that I don't like from this polygamy thing is that many men tend to use "Sunnah Rasul" as the weapon, while in fact, what they do is much different from what Prophet Muhammad did in his era. VERY MUCH DIFFERENT. Please stop fooling other people around.

I am not talking about having sex outside marriage, if you use that as an excuse for men to have more than one wife. Prophet Muhammad DID NOT pursue for sexual satisfaction from his wives (after Khadijah passed away).

I am more concerned to happiness for all people, whether they want to live single, or get married.
I am more concerned to betterment for women's lives, to pursue anything they want to do in their life, without any restriction, such as, "As a woman, you are not supposed to do that." => This is what I mean when I say that I believe all men and women are created equal in all facets in this life." Women can do anything men do when they want to do it.

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